Coaching with POSITIVITY! In life, at work, with teams.

On Spirituality and Imagination with Jennifer Starr

December 03, 2021 Angelos Derlopas
Coaching with POSITIVITY! In life, at work, with teams.
On Spirituality and Imagination with Jennifer Starr
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Show Notes Transcript

A dialogue on Spirituality, imagination, creativity and identity as a means to finding the flow and expressing yourself fully.

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Angelos Derlopas:

Jennifer Starr has a passion for partnering with those who are committed to finding their authentic voice and clarity of purpose to more powerfully impact positive change in the world through their own style of evolving mastery. She has been coaching training and mentor coaching for over 20 years. Achieving her master certified coach MCC credential in 2010. She has been delivering coach certification training and mentor coach certification at 18 by change since 2002 and more recently, co-developed a program called conversations to mastery for experienced coaches who want to take their coaching to the MCC level of personal mastery. Jennifer has been a very successful entrepreneur for over 30, 30 years. So a lot of experience there, she weaves creativity, humor, spirituality, and imagination into all aspects of her work with others to open up new pathways to awareness and raise consciousness on the planet. She is a gypsy at heart and travels extensively. Her home base is in Sisters, Oregon, where she enjoys nature, hiking, photography, and painting. So welcome again, Jennifer, I got very curious about how you weave spirituality and imagining,

Jennifer Starr:

Well, thank you. It's so fun to actually hear that, except it makes me feel old. Right. you hear how everything kind of came together in someone else's voice? So thank you, Angela. How I weave spirituality in? Hmm. I guess the first thing that's really important is how do I define what spirituality is, right. Isn't that true for each of us? For me I'm working with full people. People are complex, so there's a multi-dimensional aspect to every one of us. There's the physical aspect, the emotional, the mental, the creative that there's so many aspects to us. I like to think of the overarching consciousness of who we are, whether we're aware of it or not as that whole picture of us. And just like I, my blind spots, I don't see myself completely clearly at all times, especially when I get activated by something, out in the world or by an emotional experience.

I might not see my wholeness. And, and so what I, what I mean when I'm saying weaving spirituality in one layer of that is supporting others in seeing aspects of themselves that they aren't aware of sort of holding up a cosmic mirror. How about that? So that they see beyond what they think about regularly. They can see beyond what they see in the mirror, the actual mirror, but they're, they're seeing more of their core essence, maybe they're, they're the part of them that's beyond their role, their identification on that higher place. Many people come to me because of the word spirituality, because they're really wanting to seek what is, what does it mean for me? W where do I go with it? How do I find more meaning in my life? And each one of us is going to find our own spiritual path and we're going to define it in whatever way we define it. But what I find as a common denominator with everybody I work with is there's, I want to know myself better. I want to be fulfilling my highest potential. I want to know what's going to give me a sense of purpose and meaning, and who am I at my most authentic, true self. When all of me gets to express, that's a tricky business, isn't it?

Angelos Derlopas:

It is. It is. And it kind of reminded me that quote that says something like, I don't recall exactly. It says revisiting the past and designing a new, inventing a new future is the same journey. And you said something about the, to imply that you need to get to know yourself, become awareness of who you are. And I think you somehow get the notion of identity who, who I am and the purpose. And but I love how it comes out of with your words. And, and I'm also curious how creativity, how you weave creativity with spirituality.

Jennifer Starr:

When you, when you fed my words back to me, I got an image. I see things in pictures a lot, but to me, they're interwoven naturally our spirituality is our creativity. It's our ability to use our imagination, to be able to use our physical hands, you know, our brains, our hearts it's when we are connected to something that is a greater expression of ourselves, there's this natural flow that, that kicks in like ideas start to come to mind. We have all had the experience of feeling completely stuck, right? Where I've been on a flow in my business for several years and suddenly this year, it's just like, what am I doing? What is the purpose of what I'm doing? I'm not even sure that what I'm saying is really mine anymore, you know that kind of questioning, I'm not feeling energized by the work that I'm doing anymore.

What's going on. I've tried everything, I've taken podcasts and courses and read books and talk to mentors, and I'm not finding it. I'm just, I'm stuck. There's something about working with people that feel stuck and sort of taking the view finder that they're looking through and expanding it to. So they can see things in the periphery that weren't evident before. And to do that playfully, to do that imaginatively like a child would do it. Wow. If this were, if you had, if this were a story and you were walking down a path and suddenly there is a wall in front of you, that's too huge to climb or to navigate. And you're just right there. If you were to really imagine, what, what would I do? I can't go back. Cause the road behind me no longer fits me. What would you do next?

The imagination, you know, and it's like, ideas start to pop. Like I would probably sit down and cry or I would rage and pound on the, the wall. That'd be the first thing I do. Ah, how would it, how would your body feel as you're doing that? You know, I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm sad. I'm depressed. I, whatever the feeling is, it's like, if you knew that you could see from a different perspective, if you knew that there was another way of looking at this, that would give you a different experience. Where would you begin? What would you do? What story comes to mind or what, when you were a kid, what was that? A fairy tale or a, a hero that you used to admire? What would they do?

No. If, if if this wall in front of you could be made out of anything, yeah. What would, what would you turn it into? What would be different? So just really playing with possibility. Now, some people are just stuck and they don't want to play. My job is to simply be with their wholeness, to simply be with them and let them know that where they are as exactly allowed it's okay. It's not only okay. It's necessary before something next can actually ever happen is to be where they are and what do they need. So I guess for me, I meet people spontaneously where they are. I can't, you can't pre-think this there's no like magical formula that I've ever found. It's you meet someone with your heart and your soul and your awareness, your perception, your sensitivity, you come with your whole self. You can be with someone and their whole self. And then there's a synergy that can happen. Like we're sharing the space together. It's sacred. This is sacred space. Whatever we're sharing in this space is sacred. It matters. What do we want to create in this space together?

Angelos Derlopas:

I hear you. And hearing all these very powerful words that you use and images come to mind. Like you talked about the, the view point, the view master ha ha 

Jennifer Starr:

You know, like the, the aperture on a camera.

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah. Like that toy that we used to have when we were

Jennifer Starr:

Yes. Viewfinder.

Angelos Derlopas:

Yes. You're right, right. And it's like, and I think, and then you talk also about what will would your favorite hero do? And it's like an invite into imagination. And I got that instantly. I got that image of putting my eyes inside the viewfinder. And, and, and I think that that was somehow driven by the intention to see something magical in front of your eyes, just like that, you know, something different will appear in front of your eyes. And then I realized that even in the current days, we are there are big corporations like Microsoft and Facebook and apple who are preparing all theirs, how they call it a hollow lens and all these virtual mixed in augmented reality, which is, I would say, if you'll allow me this practically the same thing, you put something in front of your eyes and you expect everything to change instantly,

Jennifer Starr:

But it can, it, but all this technology, it's like, we have the ability to do this in our own being, without ever adding anything to us. If I were to just imagine with every person sitting in front of me that is actually seeking to better understand their situation or who they are, what they want. It's first, we have to have a space that we can make exclusively our own that we're sharing the space together. The next thing is I have to put my blindfold on to my world. I have to, I have to just blot everything out like you do with the viewfinder where you're just looking through into their world. So it's it, the rest falls away. My focus is take me into your world and explain it to me as if I had a blindfold on, describe it to me. You know, what's it feel like what's that feel like in your body? What are you seeing when you look out there? No. Who is your adversary? Who are your allies? No. Where, where is it that you're hoping to go?

When you say that, what do you mean? These are all the kinds of questions. Like I can't see. I can't assume I can't. I can try to imagine what their world is like, but I can't really do that unless I allow myself to fully step in. You remember, Angelo's what it felt like when someone stepped into your world and began to see you and hear you and understand what you meant when you were describing it, how valuable that was to actually realize, oh my gosh, there is someone here that is committed sincerely to me, then a magic.

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah.

Jennifer Starr:

And that's what you're looking into. Something bigger than either one of you can actually see it becomes bigger.

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah. And I'm experienced in connection as well. So imagination,

So what are describing is, is this in order to to increase your imagination or his imagination, a vehicle of understand, exploring spiritual landscapes better. And I don't know, and talking about imagination, I also, it comes into my mind that you do a lot of paintings and you, and I think you are very good at painting landscapes. I remember, I don't recall what else you like to paint, but I'm wondering, does this come from, is that a means to increase what you said open up your up and up your, the, the periphery, your periphery, or is it the other way around? How does it work for you, Jennifer?

Jennifer Starr:

I just happened to be a visual artist. That's my expression of creativity. I have a best friend that calls herself uncreative, and yet she dresses in a way that expresses herself and her house expresses it. Someone else is using their camera. I love photography too. You know, I think of you Angelo's right now, I'm looking at your room, your office that you're in. And that, that image, that art right behind you, What made you pick it?

Angelos Derlopas:

It is well, the colors of course, and the aesthetics and what it how it feels for me. So where my heart is, these are some schools, of course, but

Jennifer Starr:

These are,

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah. There are some kind of symbols and yes, yes. So I,

Jennifer Starr:

What does that, what's important about that for you?

Angelos Derlopas:

It's the important, yeah. So as you put it right now, is that it opens up my mind instead of closing it down, it's something which is somehow abstract, but is very it shows something, it has a shape of it, of a shadow of a nasal at the top. And there is symmetry. There are nice lines, fake lines of there are nice colors that are blend. I mean, the aesthetics are thing great, but it does not dictate to me to think in a specific way. I think it allows me to open up and be who I am.

Jennifer Starr:

That is that creative imagination at work. Cause you know, what opens your heart? You know, the colors, you know, the link, you know, there's a curiosity, almost like I'm hearing a little boy. That's just gone with like the symbols. What did they, you know, it's not, it's not concrete and clear for me. It's, there's a dynamic quality as you describe it and you also come alive as you're describing it. Like you love this image. So what happened for you just now, as we put the attention onto your artwork?

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah. As you said yeah, you were very right. I remember that that was, this painting was in the wall of the office, but ever since the pandemic, we have stopped working. Everybody started working from home. So I said, there's one thing, why should I left? Well, why should I leave this beautiful thing, stay here alone for, I don't know how long and why should I be, why should we be divided? And and I said, let's bring it on home.

Jennifer Starr:

So it's an expression of you. This beautiful thing was an expression of you. Yeah. One of the fun activities, as, as I learn more about what makes people connect with themselves or express themselves more fully we experiment with things it's what would that beautiful piece of art tell you about the situation you're stuck in? If you were to actually be quiet and listen to what this piece of art has to give you as far as wisdom, that's an example of using the imagination in a completely, you know, unique way, because there is a voice that, that beautiful expression opens up in you. But first I had to learn what it was about that piece. And it was interesting to you to know where to begin and where to explore. This is where it becomes. You know, when I was a kid and people would say, what do you want to do when you grow up?

And I would say, I want to be an artist. And it was like, and I did go to college and, you know, I studied psychology and that's all good, but what I really love were all my art classes because I wanted to be an artist. So I I listened to the outside world and the way things are, you can't make money as an artist, unless you're really, really exceptional. And, you know, so eventually I went into business and, and other things, and 20 years later, a creative coach, I hired a creative coach to help me rediscover the artist within me. And I was afraid I would look like a seven year old making stick figures. You know, I figured I probably lost it. And she was brilliant because she tried different things to activate my own imagination about what would I create if I could, what would it feel like?

What would the colors be? What would it look like? What would the theme be? How would you want someone to feel that looks at it? How do you want to feel? And so, you know I took an art class and I got back into it, you know, 20, some years later, and it's a place of joy. So when I think I reconnected with that child, like imaginative, playful artists that I was when I was so confident in school, brought that back into my life. Everything in my life became more magical like that for everybody, for some people it's, it's technology, for some people, it's athletics, for some people it's, you know, getting in the middle of the wilderness and exploring nature for everybody it's different. But then we all have a common theme at some level. We want to reconnect with our whole self, not just the pieces that we've been told are acceptable, but our whole self,

Angelos Derlopas:

This is funny. We have never talked about that. So I remember when I was young or a little bit younger, a lot more younger. Anyway. So as a, still at school with that far back yeah, I would love to, I was not saying B, I want to become an artist, but I wanted to do something about music and playing guitar and things like that. So I got stuck into those beliefs as pretty similar to what you share. So I started business studies and then I started my career in business and so on, but of course I had this this thing inside of me. So I was starting doing music at some point, you know, as a side project. And I remember that in this world there were fun times, but I think that most, I think what was really magical for me, you know, the moments that are was in flow was in when I was being creative, when I was doing what I was or what I loved the most, not about arriving somewhere, just, you know, staying there and playing or creating, or however you want to call it, because it, it speaks to my soul and R and I noticed that your website has to do with soul, your coach with soul.com.

Angelos Derlopas:

Right.

Jennifer Starr:

I know, I think back and I think not just coach with soul, everyone is soul, right. Everyone has a soul, but form me that word matters because there's a deeper aspect of all of us that knows why it's here, that, that it's like a silent observer and witness of our life. And yeah, I think there's a depth of just the depth of, of beingness that, that we all have access to. And we find that connection in different ways, but we lose it a lot of times we lose that connection. So how do we reconnect with it? What you're speaking of too. And you're describing it as being in the present moment when we're present in the moment and everything is all right, everything in this moment is fine. When our mind goes abstractly to, what's not right. It's almost always Out of the present moment.

Angelos Derlopas:

Yeah. So it's just being there and being, and doing what you love doing, because it makes you feel something that is, that cannot be put into words, but it's something which is the only thing that you want to do. And that's a thing the more brightest in the purest sense of your existence. And I'm wondering, as we're saying all these things, because I'm wondering whether you feel, or you have come to find and find that these things, these inquiries also apply to leaders in your practice.

Jennifer Starr:

Cool. Every human being, it doesn't matter who I'm working with. It could be an executive leader leader of a organization. How do they know when they're in right alignment with themselves? They do know, they do know it's finding their way of being effective of fulfilling what it is that they're trying to achieve. And being willing to look into the shadows. Now what's invisible. To me, that is a barrier to being a leader, to being an effective leader, to inspiring, to changing the way things are done to changing these systems that don't work well. How, how, what, what's my flavor of making an impact.

So I, I have maybe the spiritual aspect of how I see the world is less about the role, less about the external responsibilities, less about the you know, sort of the affects and more about the cause that we, that it's it's each one of us has the capacity to thriving wherever we are, and for continually evolving and expanding and to be better versions of ourselves. However, we choose to define that. So for me, it I've always been somewhat of a generalist because it doesn't who I'm working with. It's always the same topics about you know, I've done what I've been doing all along that used to satisfy me. It's not, it used to be effective and now it's not the same themes keep showing up. What's my next expression of stepping into my full leadership or my full capacity. What does that next place to go? So we can start with very logistic, very tactical goals and approaches, but really when it boils down to it, what makes someone successful or not successful, they are with themselves in their own authentic expression, how connected they are with their organization, with the field that they share with others, with the vision or the mission,

Angelos Derlopas:

Authentic expression I'm with you. Yeah. Yes. This are some of the themes that I think are very important in our work. So this is a great conversation, but I think it's somehow coming to an end. So how would you like this podcast to end today's?

Jennifer Starr:

Well, I just want to thank you. It's always fun to be with you Angelos. And I think for me, the things that we have talked about are intangible things. Once someone connects with themselves in a way that there's a better understanding in this moment in time, then the effects of that awareness and that choice and that intentionality of what do you do with that becomes a tangible, and that those are the concrete results are always there for me. It's, it's like bookends. It's what are you here for? And then the exploration is an adventurous, creative it's imaginative. It's I'm a traveler, so it's a, it's a journey, but then there's this other, what have you, what are you taking away from this that matters to you? And what are you going to do with it? That's concrete and real, that will make a difference in how will that change your life? How will that change the lives around? And then the rest is, is, you know, it's, it's going to happen. It's hanging out there in the ethers forever. I'm telling ya,

Angelos Derlopas:

Let's see, how will that change your life and the lives of those who are listening to this podcast, let's become curious, how can this change and how will this change your life and the witness and find out, thank you very, very much, Jennifer. 

Jennifer Starr:

Thank you, Angelos. Thank you. I appreciate being here with you. This was wonderful. Thank you very much.